Looking For A Special Friend For Valentine’s Day
Okay, I got your attention! If you can make it through my two hurdles, you may DM me on any of my social media you saw this on. Kindly tell me what on this list interests you so I will know you saw it :)
My Wish List
1. Must be a member of Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints or want to know more about it. Www.mormon.org
2. I’m a Democrat.
I love cats.
Disability - mobility-disabled. Need you to be vaccinated and masked, too.
2nd Disability - mentally ill with Borderline Personality Disorder. I like CBT to help me with it.
www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder
I'm an Enneagram Type 4.
https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-4
Want to take the test? https://www.truity.com/test/enneagram-personality-test
And, I'm a Myers-Briggs INFJ-T. INFJ is the rarest of the 16 types.
https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality
Want to take the test? https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
ADD, too. Not hyper.
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd
My daughter depends on my income to have a place to live.
I love writing, arts and photography, science, social issues, genealogy, singing, food, travel.
Open to men of color.
Other states or countries ok.
Used to a tight budget, but hope you have an income that can support me.
Disabilities ok.
Want to correspond before dating.
No intimacy before marriage.
Details below of each item:
First Hurdle: You must be a member of the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints or an Investigator. Religion is a very important part of my life and I don’t want to fall in love with someone who cusses, drinks, smokes, or generally thinks our lifestyle is stupid. Note that this is the mainstream Church and not the odd sect that still believes in plural marriage. We do not practice this and haven’t since 1898.
Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints
If you want to know more about our Church, you are an Investigator. Talk to a Missionary. No one will pressure you to join our Church because we don’t do that.
Would love to meet someone who likes to talk about our Sunday School lesson every week. This year we are studying the New Testament. When I get to know you better, I’d invite you to our weekly Zoom singles group where we discuss the week’s lesson and in-person activities.
Second Hurdle: I don’t want to argue about politics. I am a Democrat who votes her conscience. During the last election I got into a lively 3 hour conversation with a Republican candidate for the Ringgold, GA City Council and found plenty to agree on. My political views are plain on Twitter, and I [mostly] confine them there. So, if you’re a Republican, I won’t say that you can’t be my friend, but my last boyfriend was and it ended the relationship because we couldn’t find common ground. Most members of our Church are Republican, and I just avoid politics generally with them. It’s a taboo subject during our weekly Zoom in Singles. So, I’m willing not to talk about politics, but hoping to be able to if things get serious later.
If you’re still reading, great! Now I’ll tell you what my main interests are and see if you have any in common.
Pets. I’ve had cats, dogs, birds and chinchillas but have held and enjoyed turtles, frogs and snakes as well as farm animals. We currently have a cat, two nine-month old kittens, and an elderly Silky Terrier I trained to be my service dog. If you don’t like pets or especially cats, we might not be compatible. Our pets are as dear as family members.
Family. I live with my daughter and she works as my care aide. So, if we got serious, she can’t make ends meet without my income. So, that’s something we’d need to talk about before that time. She’s the family member you’d need to get along with. My parents have been dead for many years. My sister is dear to me, but lives across the state. I have a few scattered cousins. Would love it if you had a close-knit and large family.
Disability. I am mobilty-disabled. I use, at times, a cane, a walker, and a manual wheelchair. I would still be using a power chair if I could get one. If we park close to a store, I can lean on Maggie’s shoulder and make do until we get a motorized cart. But, I get sick about two weeks after an outing, despite our masks. I don’t tend to get sick enough to go to the Emergency Room, however. My daughter and I are current on our COVID vaccinations and hope you are. If we get serious, I do look forward to dates with you and will gladly put up with a later cold or whatever. Hoping you can put up with lifting the wheelchair [35 lbs] or walker. Going to a movie or restaurant is definitely fine!
If you have a small car, it might not fit. Welcome to life and the disabled person! If we’re not walking far, your arm might be enough. Have disabled parking pass, will travel!
If you are also disabled, you might have to deal with your own disability equipment, and I’m ok with that. Even if our care aides have to come with us on dates!
Mental Illness. I’m being honest with you, I am a person with Borderline Personality Disorder. I did learn many coping skills in therapy, so I am open to you talking with me about it and how it might affect you. I am hyper-emotional, but it mostly shows in my enthusiasm for life. I tend to be optimistic. My daughter and I get along well. We joke around a lot. We enjoy the simple pleasures of life. It takes a lot to make me mad, and we’ve had, maybe one argument last year and none so far this year that we couldn’t resolve. My daughter and I talk things out. We compromise. I admit if I said something that later proves to be wrong. When I get angry, I don’t hit. I might yell, “This is so frustrating!” but I don’t cuss and am very unlikely to throw an insult. When I drive and someone’s rude, I usually yell, “You jerk!” or “Repent, ye sinner!” and joke about it. I am very unlikely to call people names or insult their character. See my Twitter for what I do say. I am a lot kinder to friends and family.
Writing. I’m a writer and I do that most of every day except Sunday. Hoping to meet someone who wants to read my young adult science fiction and maybe writes the same. But if you write nonfiction or you’re a reporter, blogger or streamer, that would definitely interest me. It is hard for someone who’s not a writer to understand just how much time I spend typing every day. It’s my escape from financial worries. It’s my dream, to someday sell enough of it to get out of poverty and maybe, open people’s eyes to what it means to be low-income or disabled, or a single mom.
Science. I love to see all the breakthroughs lately in tech, medicine and AI among many other topics such as architecture, the environment, and space.
Arts. I do some graphic arts, such as my own book covers. I use DAZ Studio the most, GIMP often, and rarely, Blender [not very good at it but want to learn]. I used to do oil and acrylic painting but my hands aren’t steady enough now. I do love to take pictures.
Social Issues. I have a lot of concerns about homelessness, addiction, incarceration, mental health, and lack of health care in our great country. All these issues are interconnected, and my grown daughter and I often discuss them. Also, immigration reform, worker shortage, recycling, public schools, and zoning. You can tell from my frequent Twitter posts on these subjects.
Genealogy. Would love to talk about progress on our family trees, or help you with yours! I’m very good at census records and 1850-1900-2000’s genealogy. Know a little about wills, church records, property records and the like. Learning about all sorts of primary sources and how to determine which relatives belong on the family tree and which don’t. Would love to learn from you if you’re more advanced than I!
Music. Love to sing and would really love to have a partner to sing with! I play the keyboard badly and never learned to play by music, but play by ear. I can follow music to sing by. Love to harmonize to my favorite songs! I love Alternative Rock, folk, hymns, LDS artists especially Cherie Call and Michael McLean, and a huge variety in just about every genre. I don’t like Rap, mainly because of the bad language.
Food. When I get to know you better, I love to eat out, but I also love to try new things to eat, so if you like to cook, that’s cool! I love everything from hamburgers to steaks, spinach salad or cooked, broccoli, yeast rolls, cornbread and biscuits.
When eating out, I like just about any fast food except McDonald’s and prefer onion rings to fries. If I get fries with a meal I usually pass them to my daughter, who loves ‘em!
As far as restaurants, country, Mexican, Chinese, pizza, Greek, Thai, Japanese or German are my faves. Not too fond of Italian or hot foods because of my stomach. I can still eat pizza, but not lasagna. However, when mild, spicy food gets to me, a little aloe juice usually fixes it.
I’ve never been addicted to anything, but if I were, it would be sweets. I love European dark or white chocolate, cookies, cakes, cream pies and pumpkin or pecan, and ice cream or frozen yogurt. Milk chocolate is okay, and American chocolate is okay. I like European better because they don’t put enzymes in there to make you hungry, or wax.
I usually just drink water with a meal. Carbonated drinks or lemonade usually give me a bad tummyache or worse. Tea and coffee are not part of a Latter-day Saint diet, though herbal teas are okay and I love those. I especially love Boba tea [without green tea] and milkshakes.
Travel. I haven’t traveled a whole lot, but if you have, would love to hear about it. I love to see new places. My dream trip would be Germany, Ireland and Scotland, and to do some genealogy while there! Where would you go, if you could afford the trip? Armchair traveling is fair game.
I’m used to a very tight budget, so I don’t mind if you have the same. I’m just as pleased with a picked wild flower as I would be with a nice bouquet in a vase. If you gave me a box of Godivas for Valentine’s but a single bar of Ritter Sport dark chocolate with hazelnut from the grocery store for the next holiday, I wouldn’t complain. Or, if you forgot a holiday.
I’m more likely to tell you, if you are on a tight budget, that I don’t need a box of Godiva’s or an expensive meal to be happy just with your company. I would like to know that you have a steady income and are a hard worker. It doesn’t have to be six figures. If we get serious, I would like to know that you can support me. What’s most important is you, not your income.
And, if you’re disabled, too, and on disability income, that’s ok. As I said, I’m used to being frugal and we can be frugal together. I used to be a hard-worker before I became disabled and still consider myself to be one. Maybe you’re in this boat.
I’m white, but you don’t have to be. I try to see my prejudices and change them. I’m an advocate of world peace. My religion is very important to me, so for a romantic interest, it is vital. However, when I go to Church, I see interracial couples. There aren’t many members of color, and it makes me sad. When there are members of color, they are welcomed, at least as far as a white person can notice. I am aware that there are as many ways a white person can offend a person of color as there are bigots in this world. I strive not to offend anyone because of their difference from me. As far as my friends, I value our differences as well as our likenesses.
If you live in a different state or country, I wouldn’t necessarily expect you to move here. I would lose my Medicaid and have to go on the waiting list again in a different state, but if you can afford my medical care, let’s talk about it. If your family is there and you want to stay near them, I might be willing to move there. I lived in Utah for 8 years and really loved it.
I’ve talked about wanting to build my own home forever. I’d like to make the shell out of shipping containers but have the outside look like a Victorian. So, this is another big conversation topic for me, including zoning, geology of the land, whether or not to have farm animals, a garden, what plants or trees and how much water we’d need for them, etc.
I look forward to a lot of conversations about things important to both of us. Hoping for a singing partner, someone to read some things that I write, or perhaps someone who wants to edit my writing. Or someone to make art with. Maybe, after marriage, someone to travel with or at least be armchair travelers together.
The things that are most important to me in this special friend are these:
Honest, open communication. I am very open about my feelings, and would like my special friend to feel free to open up when he’s comfortable.
Cares enough to read a social media post or two and DM me about them, whether to agree or politely disagree. Whether you agree or not, tell me why you think so. I’m not looking for a yes man, I’m just looking for polite conversation.
Interested enough to try reading something of what I write. If I send you a story and after the first page, you’re falling asleep, it won’t hurt my feelings if you ask for another story. If something turns you off, tell me about it. Maybe something I write will interest you.
Yeah, it might hurt my feelings if you tell me the first story you read isn’t interesting to you, but I won’t get mad or tell you I don’t want to be friends.
Every story is different, and every reader is different. What matters to me is that you want to read it in the first place. Your comments might help me improve it.
I’m hoping to find a fella who really enjoys what I write, and that is important to me. But, we will never know unless you read one. You don’t have to eagerly await every page that I write. If you like one of my many stories, even if it’s not written yet, you might like another.
Likes something that I like. You don’t have to like everything that I like, but having something in common is a basis for any friendship, isn’t it? If you love to sing with me but hate my writing, that’s ok. If you love my writing but can’t sing or play an instrument, or you do but hate that, it’s ok, too. Or if we have great conversations about science but you don’t sing or like my writing, at least we have interesting conversations.
Those first two hurdles are the most important, especially my religion. I can like you as a friend even if you don’t meet it, but I won’t date you. I really, really want to be able to date someone. If you’re a Church member but we argue about politics constantly, am I going to want to date you?
What I expect to happen from this request for a Special Friend:
If you like my post, you’ll either reply to it or DM me.
I’ll correspond with you via the DM for a few weeks.
Once I feel comfortable, I’ll get on Zoom with you.
Later on, I’ll introduce you to my daughter and see how she likes you. Maybe your family would like to virtually meet me.
Sometime after that, I’ll plan to meet in person.
If there are several of you that I’m dating, at some point I will choose one, if he’s serious, and if I feel serious about him. If I fall in love with you, I’ll tell you. I hope you’ll tell me when you know, if you’re in love, or if you don’t think I’m right for you. Honesty is the best way to go.
At that point I shall be the loyal girlfriend and be exclusive. I will have known you for maybe six months. You would never, ever think to dishonor me by inviting me to your bed. You know that would end our relationship. At this point you also agree to be exclusive, and loyal to me.
If you decide to ask me to marry you and my answer is yes, we will have about a six month engagement and plan a Church wedding and Temple Marriage. If you are a new member of our Church, it takes a year to earn a Temple Recommend, but I am a patient woman.
I will be your devoted wife and absolutely faithful. We will decide together our path, with me listening to you with an open mind and both of us praying together about all those major decisions ahead of us. We’ll study our Scriptures together and have many interesting discussions of how they apply to us, today, in our daily life. We’ll attend the Temple together and get all our relatives sealed to us.
I have a daughter who will look up to you as her new father, and I will look forward to being a second mother to your children, and be as loyal to them as I am to you. I will adopt your parents as my second parents and give them love and devotion as well. The same for your family. I believe you don’t just marry a man, but his entire family, the easy and not-so-easy to get along with.
So, my new friend, there you have my honest wish list of my heart. I get so many DM’s like, Hello, Beautiful or Hello, Darling and I don’t answer them. I don’t want to be scammed. So, if you want to DM me, read a few of my posts and pick one to comment about. Give me a long enough comment and I’ll reply to you. I don’t expect you to read all of my social medias or fawn over what I say. I just want to know what’s important to you, and for you to start a conversation with me.
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