PASSWORD PURGATORY

I love this photo, by Pixabay on Pexels.

 I wrote a filk about it. Sing to the tune of, "What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor?"

What Do ye Do When The Password's Fergotten?

Chorus:
Way hey ire she rises,
Way hey ire she rises,
Way hey ire she rises, 
Earlay in th' mornin'

What will I do, I forgot me password,
What will I do, I forgot me password,
What will I do, I forgot me password,
Earlay in th' mornin'

Told it to reset me password,
Told it to reset me password,
Told it to reset me password,
Earlay in th' mornin'

Check me phone, oh no, it's dead now,
Check me phone, oh no, it's dead now,
Check me phone, oh no, it's dead now,
In the midst of mornin'

Phone is chargin', send it to me email,
Phone is chargin', send it to me email,
Phone is chargin', send it to me email,
It is now mid-mornin'

Check me email but forgot that password,
Check me email but forgot that password,
Check me email but forgot that password,
Now it's towards late mornin'

Where's that security key, it's not on me,
Where's that security key, it's not on me,
Where's that security key, it's not on me,
Now it's really late mornin'

Guess it's time for lunch, now, Mateys,
Guess it's time for lunch, now, Mateys,
Guess it's time for lunch, now, Mateys,
Earlay afternoon, now

Tech support says go back to Google,
Tech support says go back to Google,
Tech support says go back to Google,
It's middle afternoon, now

Google says gotta wait 6 hours,
Google says gotta wait 6 hours,
Google says gotta wait 6 hours,
Time to get me home, now!

- Dannis Cole

I plan a TikTok of that soon!

This filk illustrates the problem with passwords, 2-factor authorization, and how we try to cope with it. Sometimes I have to call my daughter in. "Will you please type this [wailing deleted] password in for me...again??"

Passwords and the process of having to type in ever-longer and more complicated ones are discriminatory against people with disabilities. There! I said it!!

The number one obstacle in my life right now is passwords.

I use Google and Google Chrome to manage my passwords. It's usually easy, fast, and Google even has a password generator built-in. When it works.

If you change your password in an app, even on your computer, it will not be saved in Google. That means I had to change it AGAIN because of course, I had no clue what it was when I tried to log in after validating my account.

I am a writer. I do TONS of research. I have passwords on about 3500 sites. So multiply the above routine that many times and you'll see why I'm just about tearing my hair out!

And Google moved their menus around in Settings. I have memory problems. That means, I can never remember where to look for Password Manager. It's hidden from me in many submenus. Usually, I'm a Google fan. I got my email when you had to apply for it, that long ago. I have many email accounts, as many folks do to try to keep work and personal separate. I've just turned to Thunderbird [again, it's been many years] to try to deal with my tens of thousands of emails in each of many accounts.

I do own a Security Key. I tried several free Password Managers. The only one that really works for me is LastPass, but for a free account, I can only use it on one device: My Phone.

My Phone is the thing I get frustrated with and call my daughter in. "Can you make this thing do what I need to do right now??"

I learned how to use a personal computer in 1986 at what is now Chattahoochee Tech. Cellphones have not been my device of choice. The screen is too small for me to see what I'm doing. So I use various means to get my cell connected to my PC so I can text without getting very frustrated. Voice recognition refuses to get what I say right compared to people around me, so I gave up. I spend more time correcting what I said and the AI thought I said than I do just sending the stupid message.

We live in the 21st century. I expected robots, flying cars, and intelligent AI's. What I got is a cellphone I can't see, a computer that doesn't understand my voice, and passwords for everything.

I thought my security key would solve my Google problems. It hasn't.

I thought Windows Hello would solve my Google problems. It hasn't.

It's not just Google, to be fair. It's every company with a website gated with password entry. When, as a society, can we get rid of passwords and just use our fingerprints and faces and security keys???

And then there were keys for the softwares I am dying to use.

VUE

VUE 2016 has the most draconian process ever to install their legacy software. As you may know, e-on software's website got creamed by a hacker in 2018.

http://www.cgchannel.com/2018/01/e-on-launches-temporary-website-following-cyber-attack/

So, no longer is it enough for me to have my key for my copies of VUE 2016, VUE 2015, and VUE 11. I have files from all of these that have assets that aren't readable from other versions. Sigh.

No, I have to install and put in my key, 4 characters at a time even though it says that you can copy and paste the whole thing. There's not even an installer for my VUE 7 any more, so all those assets are gone.

Then I have to fill out the dreaded contact form for tech support. Tech support will send me a new key based on a number generated in the newly installed software. Tech support is very nice and all but it takes them 48 hours per request. I had trouble the last time, then I had to reinstall Windows 11. Yep. Haven't done it yet.

Poser 11 also has a horse-choker key to activate the software.

Family Tree 2017 also has a key.

Each of these softwares with keys has a password-protected website. Hello, Google!

Enough about passwords. Let's get to the other reason this PC setup is taking so long. 

Windows 11 problems! See next blog post.